Self Indulgent Dreaming
Do you do this? Do you let yourself sink into a dream like a good book? I do. I always have. It’s my opinion, finally, in my thirties, that this was exactly how I got from pregnant teen in poverty to where I am now. Even before I was pregnant, I used to walk to and from school engaged in a daydream where I designed my future home and life. I can still see my imaginary house of the future. It was two stories with a grand staircase and a large foyer. It had a private drive and was shaded by trees all around. What I am saying is being able to see clearly a place that I was going, a life that I was trying to get to was how I could get from there to here. I don’t have a foyer or a grand staircase but I am not one who clings to dreams when they no longer apply. I am a big fan of making new ones.
Today I let myself imagine (and scroll the internet) for a brief time that I was going to go to graduate school and study English. I did this because I can’t help but love words and books, The other day my teacher said Deleterious and I had to look it up (harmful often in a subtle or unexpected way). And I was so excited to be in a class where my teacher says words that I don’t know. Also, he started asking what words mean. Like belletrist. And the kid next to me began to define it by saying belle means beauty…etc. And I was all swoon. No, not over boys. But talking about how to use words. Because it is so awesome/meaningful/fantastic/dynamic…etc.
I love the idea of having hours to sit around and talk about books and words. To read books and words.
Some people indulge by getting their nails done. Go shopping. Eating ice cream. But I love indulging my imagination in creating other paths in life for myself. That is how I could see myself in other places and how I find myself planning a trip to Europe. In this life today, is anything still possible? I know they are, at least in my dreams .
What do you indulge in?